In a world with social media usage at the tip of our fingers, it is hard to steer away from viewing people’s relationships everyday. Many times, we view what we think are “perfect” partnerships; when in reality, many of those pictures of couples on vacations, giving each other lavish gifts or even going to nice dinners are far away from reality. There are many factors that go into dating in your early to mid twenties, and we’re here to break down the reality of how dating is a two way street. Here are the top three pieces of advice we can give!
Dating in your twenties means one thing: you both don’t have it entirely figured out when it comes to finances. Many of us start our educational paths later than others, while at the same time, landing that dream job takes time and patience. It is extremely common to find post college graduates who do not know what path to venture on (i.e grad school, law school, med school or a job) and it is also common to find a romantic partner swimming in student debt. Dating in your twenties truly is a time to explore what you want from a partner emotionally, rather than thinking how much they are making in a year. These are life goals you can eventually create together, but for now, keep an open mind to whoever you meet.
Here’s a tip: always call dutch, or pay every other turn. It is important to remember that both your bank accounts may look different; yet, going out should never make anyone uncomfortable. Pick places that you can both afford, or plan things that don’t require spending too much! Our advice, leave the special times (birthday, anniversary, romantic vacations) special, and get creative at home!
- Expecting a man to do everything in the relationship:
This has to be a big pet peeve. The problem many women have in this day and age is the expectation that a man has to do simply everything to keep the relationship moving. From planning dates, buying “surprise” gifts, or expecting to receive flowers every week… it can be pretty daunting to place these preconceived notions that your significant other loves you through acts of service. Relationships are again… a two way street! It’s important to realize men enjoy being pursued as well. Planning dates, weekend getaways or spoiling your man is nothing to be ashamed of. Both of you should feel loved and cherished in any form, and it simply does not matter what your gender is!
*Note: many men love doing these things without hearing about it from their girlfriend’s or social media! We applaud those men! This also relates back to the finance aspect… Some men cannot afford to spoil you everyday, and some men simply don’t think about these things. If you have these unrealistic expectations on what a relationship to look like, you should probably learn to love yourself a bit more before jumping into a relationship.
Although we talk all about communication in a previous post (linked here!), it is important to remember that communication styles are always different from both parties. Yet, another piece of advice is that playing “games” via text (i.e not responding for ten minutes, two days, etc) is no way to go about it. Both parties, especially in the beginning stages, cannot read each other’s minds. Make the effort to express yourself, show interest and make plans!
All in all, it is important to realize that a relationship takes two, and requires work from both ends to make each other happy. Placing societal pressure on your significant other to make your relationship “perfect” is putting yourself far away from reality. Relationships are in no way perfect, yet what makes them beautiful is the love, patience and dedication to making them work. It takes two to tango!
What piece of advice would you give to someone getting into a relationship?