Sometimes we question the relationships we are in as we go through the trials and tribulations that are actually a completely normal part of life. No two people process life the same way and these hurdles help the relationship develop into something more serious. During these times, it’s totally understandable to lean on friends and family for support and advice. We’ve been there; you slowly start to share so much of the negative and not enough of the positive that it can lead to the dreaded situation of someone close to you not liking your SO.
Whether you’re having sex on the first date, waiting until marriage, or anything in-between, remember that as long as your relationship is between two consensual adults, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how or when you conduct your romantic life. But when you find yourself in this uncomfortable limbo of not wanting to bring your boyfriend or girlfriend around the people closest to you, think of this food for thought:
With a good heart
When, say your sibling or bestie, doesn’t like your partner, ask yourself why they feel this way. More likely than not, they are coming from a loving place and only want the best for you. But they don’t, nor should they, see what you see as a first hand participant in the intricacies of your relationship. When we speak about our relationships to others it can be easy to only focus on the negative aspects as you’re looking for an outlet to vent. But really think about if what they’re saying is a serious red flag or simply a miscommunication. Things do happen after all, but stand up for yourself and your relationship if it comes down to it!
Explanation Vs. Justification
The outside pressure that’s asking you to re-evaluate your priorities may make you feel inclined to or find yourself explaining your relationship to the outside party. Ask yourself here is, are you trying to explain your relationship or are you trying to justify it? It’s one thing if you’re trying to illuminate their perspective into the reality of your relationship or clarify a situation. But on the other hand, if you’re trying to rationalize poor behavior or minimize the seriousness of their actions, this more than likely isn’t something you are going to be able to avoid. Everyone has a different perspective on what is a big deal and what not, but the best thing you can do here is to approach the situation with grace and strength for the betterment of you and your life. As always, your happiness matters!
The Need for Validation
Okay, we know this sounds intimidating and you might have dismissed this based solely on the header, but hear us out… Feeling the need to explain or justify our relationship to others stems from the need for validation from our peers or a source of authority. Though it helps us to feel more secure, know that you don’t need outside validation from anyone to know how you feel when you’re with your SO. For example, if your love language is affirmations, you may be naturally more prone to this yearning behavior rather than someone who prefers acts of service.
No matter what your situation is, never feel the need to explain your relationship to anyone. At the end of the day, it’s no one’s business except for the people directly involved and whoever you choose to include in the secrecies of your consensual intimacy. It’s truly about what’s right for you.
Let us know! Do you have any tips on how to avoid or resolve this situation if anyone finds themselves living this nightmare?