The Donut Hole: Outer Circle Vs. Inner Circle Friends

Friendships are the most vital part of a woman’s life. No matter what you are going through, you always know your girls (or even guys) are there to carry you through. However, there are times where you would rather face it with one rather than the other, or trust to talk in confidence to those one or two women who really know you better than everybody else. You know those other friends are there for you no matter what, but timing, location and even personalities are deciding factors on who you want to keep closer to you, and who you would rather see once or twice a month. Having friends on all ends of the spectrum is normal, and it is what a therapist once called: The Donut Hole Theory.

Now, what exactly defines an inner circle friend? Well, these are the selective few women in your life that you gravitate more towards, and who you typically prefer to spend the most of your time with. These are the women that motivate you, support you and go out of their way to see or talk to you no matter the distance, or circumstance. The type of friends that you know no matter what, you know you could trust them with absolutely anything that is going on in your mind; you feel no judgement when telling them what your boyfriend “did now” or what happened at work the other day. These inner circle friends are the women in your life who you want to talk to everyday, and never feel sick of doing it. Many would say these are your sisters’ by choice and not by blood… and you know at the end of the day, you would do absolutely anything for them too. 

However, what actually defines an outer circle friend? While it is normal to have a select few inner circle friends, it seems as though the limit does not exist when it comes to those in the outer circle. In other words, these are the girlfriends you do mindless activities with, the girls who you want to go out with on a Saturday night once a month, or sometimes don’t feel the need to constantly speak or talk to for days, weeks or months at a time. No matter what life throws your way, you do know those outer circle friends will always be in your life, and although they may not be as tight-knit as your inner circle friends, you know they will be around for a lifetime. These are the women you can sit down after a few months, talk about just about anything with, and feel like no time has passed. 

There is no limit on your friend circle, and who you choose to put in it. Yet, it is important to realize who you can trust and who is there for you vs. who isn’t. Those girls in your intimate group are the obvious choice… but who is to say you can’t trust your outer group of friends as well? What you could keep in mind with for your future interactions is notice how those outer friends treat you in comparison to those you spend everyday hanging out with or talking to.  Many friends can typically be selfish — and it’s okay, we all have that one friend (and you know exactly who that is) and you can spot it like this: have they asked how you are doing? Does the conversation turn into them more than it turns into a half and half conversation? 

All in all, realize who is there for you and who isn’t! It is totally okay to have friends on different ends of the spectrum, and if anything, it brings more interesting dynamics into your very own life! Each friend brings a different piece to the puzzle, and while some may be smaller than others, you know they will always be in your circle for life.

Can you place your friends in an outer and inner circle? 

XO,

A&B