You lost your best friend… now what? Friend Breakups 101

The saying rings true, that losing a best friend is worse than losing a man. The void in your heart from losing someone you either knew for a few months or more than a decade can be rather large. From personal experience, the relationships I have with my girlfriends have always meant more to me than the relationships I’ve developed with my significant others. As crazy as that may sound, a boyfriend simply does not understand you better than your closest girlfriend. Losing friends throughout your life is common, it is unfortunately a part of life. Honestly, to cut to the chase it really f**king sucks. You don’t really think someone you are insanely close with will suddenly be cut out of your life… but, here are some personal situations and tips as to how to help heal your soul during this difficult time.

  1. They changed: As sad as it may be, people change every single day. It is a natural part of life to grow and change, whether it be in a positive or negative direction. Yet, it is okay to admit your friend has changed in a way that does not serve you anymore. If their choices and actions make you feel uneasy or upset in any shape or form… realize that at this point you cannot bring your “old” friend back.
  2. They sabotaged you: Backstabbing is by far the biggest blow, but it is sadly a huge reality. Many women view backstabbing as a few steps up the latter – whatever helps them succeed in the world, they will do. Safe to say, if you find your friend has become selfish and would love to see you fall while they rise – it’s time to walk away.
  3. You changed: While it is easy to blame the other person, take some time to reflect on yourself. How have you changed? It’s normal to grow out of certain people in your life if they are not serving you anymore. Maybe they are stuck in the past, or feed off negativity. Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you crave change, but your best friend is simply not there yet. There are a million reasons why changing for yourself proves your strength, and if letting someone go during that change is what you have to do, then do it.
  4. You grew apart: Just like falling out of love with a partner, it is normal to grow out of love with a best friend. There really is no explanation behind it, but I can say that from experience, it just happens. Time can either make or break your relationship, and at times the bonds between two close girlfriends can be broken. 

Having gone through numerous best friend breakups myself, I found that the first one definitely hurt the most as the rest. However, how did I get through them? For one, I just want to say if you want to never speak to that friend again, then that is your decision. However, I have found that overtime, keeping those friends in my outer circle rather than my inner (insert link for inner and outer friends) was probably the best decision I have made. Knowing I have no bad vibes with anyone is a lifestyle I aim to have. However, to say there isn’t that one friend I absolutely refuse to talk to, would be a complete lie. Know that there are those you let go of who do cast negativity around you. Energies are strong, and keep yours positive! Surround yourself with new friends, or those from your inner and outer circles to get you through this tough time. Losing a best friend is no cake walk… so let yourself grieve. Just remember that there are and will be people in your life who are a temporary or long lasting lesson.