Credit: USA Today

Owning your happiness

As Will Smith said about Jada Pinkett Smith, “Her happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy, and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can’t do it for yourself is selfish.”

Let that sink in.

Before entering a relationship, it is important to look deep within yourself and ask, “am I creating my own happiness?” If the answer is yes, then great! You are ready to support someone else’s happiness while still feeling confident that you are okay no matter what happens in the relationship. After all, relationships can make us feel like we are floating on a cloud nine until they don’t. This may be a month from now, a few years from now, or when you’re 102 years old when you both pass away deeply in love. But, know that you are worthy whether you are single or not.

If you don’t feel like you’re happy on your own or from your own efforts, we highly suggest talking to someone. Whether that be a friend, family member or therapist, talking through life and organizing your thoughts out loud can help tremendously.

We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves. Heck, I could name 3 things right off the top of my head. But if you can’t truly love yourself, how can you love another person? Relationships are meant to help you flourish and grow rather than to fill an emptiness or void. According to Everyday Health, significant others with a low sense of self-esteem were “more likely to view their relationship in black-and-white terms: as all good or all bad,” which led to couples experiencing issues with communication and perception.

Listen, no one is perfect. Ever. And if someone tries to say they are, they’re lying. But if you need to take some time to work on yourself and your happiness then it’s probably best to follow your heart for as long as you feel you need to. Commit to yourself and your growth until you find someone who is worthy of you. 

This works on the flip side as well. You shouldn’t be with someone who isn’t happy with themselves. It’s so common to idealize “fixing” someone; we all like a good DIY. But, you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change themselves. Feeling complete and comfortable with who you are allows you to more-so be your true self in a well rounded relationship. 

Balance, like in all areas of life, is pivotal before entering a committed relationship. If other things in your life are disproportionately taking up your time, you may not have the energy to, or feel the need to, focus on dating. This is always okay, afterall, you are your top priority. Don’t ignore the signs and the things that are important to you, because it will only take a toll on you and the relationship. And, nobody wants that.

So, you find yourself questioning if you’re ready for a relationship. We truly hope this article has helped you and don’t forget… You will know when you are ready for a relationship when you know that you don’t need a relationship to feel genuinely happy, worthy and balanced. Own your happiness. 

How did you ladies and gents know you were ready for your relationship? Do you think “bad timing” is a real thing?

XO,

B&A

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